I love my husband. I
love spending time with him and I love learning more about him. Sometimes, that love and connection can last
us days, getting us through the long hours of work, the kiddo being sick, and
even through tough family moments. Othertimes, that well we’re drawing from runs low. It’s like, “wait! I thought we were fine!” and all of a sudden,
we find ourselves in the middle of an argument simply because we feel
disconnected from one another.
It’s then that we realize we should have kept up with the
weekly date night, made time in the busy schedule, away from the Little Man, to
be with each other. To listen to each
other. To encourage each other. To connect.
We are believers in a weekly connect time. It doesn’t always make it into the schedule,
so we find smaller ways to connect: a chat getting ready for bed at night, a
phone call during the long commute home.
Those serve as a “holdover” until we can make the real thing
happen.
We love long nights on our back patio, under the twinkle
lights, eating dinner, listening to music, and talking.
What is connect time?
Well first, it’s a place for the two of you. No phones, no TV. Nothing to distract you from the one God gave
you.
Connect time is not a place to talk first. It’s a place to listen.
James 1:19 “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this:
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry…”
I know, as moms, we can quickly delve into the things of our
day, the lives of our kids, and completely miss our husband’s need to share
with us. Listen for his thoughts, help
him process his feelings. Give him grace
to share. When you share with him your
heart, be honest in your communication.
Help him to understand.
Use connect time to catch up on the week’s schedule, or make
decisions together. Find out how you can
support and encourage each other during the week.
When you finish up with your connect time, pray
together. Pray for your husband as you
work together, pray for your kids.
Here are some ways to find connect time with your spouse:
1.
Find a place
The place for your connect time should be a place you both
love to be, like your backyard, going for a walk, over a quiet dinner at home,
sitting by the lake—wherever it is, make it yours! Ours started out on our crummy back patio at
our apartment. We worked on adding
twinkle lights, furniture, and plants to make it a place we wanted to be!
2.
Schedule it
If you find it difficult to make connect time happen on the
fly during the week, add it to your schedule for the week, and protect that
time. Put the kiddos to bed early,
schedule a baby sitter and connect with your honey! Or even, send your kids to a weekly evening
activity and make that the night you and your spouse get together for connect
time. Someone recently shared with me
that their four young kiddos attend AWANA on Wednesday night at church so they
can have time alone as a couple. It’s
what’s keeping their marriage together.
3.
Have a backup plan
Life happens. And
sometimes connect time doesn’t always go as planned. Connect time can easily be derailed by a
kiddo fighting bedtime or a sitter who doesn’t show up. Maybe connect time that night means a date
night on the couch. That night, turn the TV off, turn the lights down low, and
share your thoughts with your husband.
It’s been a hard day.
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