Parent's Night In: Finding Time to Connect

I love my husband.  I love spending time with him and I love learning more about him.  Sometimes, that love and connection can last us days, getting us through the long hours of work, the kiddo being sick, and even through tough family moments.  Othertimes, that well we’re drawing from runs low.  It’s like, “wait!  I thought we were fine!” and all of a sudden, we find ourselves in the middle of an argument simply because we feel disconnected from one another.

It’s then that we realize we should have kept up with the weekly date night, made time in the busy schedule, away from the Little Man, to be with each other.  To listen to each other.  To encourage each other.  To connect.

We are believers in a weekly connect time.  It doesn’t always make it into the schedule, so we find smaller ways to connect: a chat getting ready for bed at night, a phone call during the long commute home.  Those serve as a “holdover” until we can make the real thing happen. 

We love long nights on our back patio, under the twinkle lights, eating dinner, listening to music, and talking.

What is connect time?

Well first, it’s a place for the two of you.  No phones, no TV.  Nothing to distract you from the one God gave you.

Connect time is not a place to talk first.  It’s a place to listen.

James 1:19 “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry…”

I know, as moms, we can quickly delve into the things of our day, the lives of our kids, and completely miss our husband’s need to share with us.  Listen for his thoughts, help him process his feelings.  Give him grace to share.  When you share with him your heart, be honest in your communication.  Help him to understand. 

Use connect time to catch up on the week’s schedule, or make decisions together.  Find out how you can support and encourage each other during the week.

When you finish up with your connect time, pray together.  Pray for your husband as you work together, pray for your kids.

Here are some ways to find connect time with your spouse:

1.      Find a place

The place for your connect time should be a place you both love to be, like your backyard, going for a walk, over a quiet dinner at home, sitting by the lake—wherever it is, make it yours!  Ours started out on our crummy back patio at our apartment.  We worked on adding twinkle lights, furniture, and plants to make it a place we wanted to be!

2.      Schedule it

If you find it difficult to make connect time happen on the fly during the week, add it to your schedule for the week, and protect that time.  Put the kiddos to bed early, schedule a baby sitter and connect with your honey!  Or even, send your kids to a weekly evening activity and make that the night you and your spouse get together for connect time.  Someone recently shared with me that their four young kiddos attend AWANA on Wednesday night at church so they can have time alone as a couple.  It’s what’s keeping their marriage together.

3.      Have a backup plan

Life happens.  And sometimes connect time doesn’t always go as planned.  Connect time can easily be derailed by a kiddo fighting bedtime or a sitter who doesn’t show up.  Maybe connect time that night means a date night on the couch. That night, turn the TV off, turn the lights down low, and share your thoughts with your husband.  It’s been a hard day.

Altering the Morning Routine

It’s no secret that I am not a fan of early mornings.  Sleeping til 9 and sipping coffee til lunch?  That’s my jam.  But when I realized I was letting my toddler wake me up, rightfully because he needed to pee, and we were grabbing breakfast on the way to school, I knew I needed to make a change.  Making changes to our morning routine…well, there was no routine.  Our mornings needed an overhaul.

Emily Ley’s book, A Simplified Life, came out at a perfect time.  Emily makes it a habit of getting up an hour before her children to get ready herself—complete to make up and shoes.  An hour before?  Ugh.

Around the same time, the hubs and I were getting our health back in order and attempting a Whole30.  Have you done a Whole30?  It requires a lot of cooking.  Not something I have a problem with, but breakfast can’t be a frozen waffle grabbed out of the toaster on the way to the car.  A hot breakfast got added to the list.  Did I mention my early-bird husband is out the door by 5:45 every morning?  Double ugh.

A schedule was beginning to unfold.

Waking up at 7:30 am was clearly too late to get my Little Man dressed, fed, and dropped off at school.  I wanted to have time with him and not feel rushed.  I don’t want him to attribute urgings like, “hurry, we’re running late!” to #thingsmomsays.  I wanted to spend time with him reading Bible stories at breakfast, to get his days started right.

With a little encouragement from some Facebook friends and talking with a very wise woman at church, I realized I wasn’t alone in figuring out the morning routine.  I didn’t want to feel like I was letting the morning run me anymore.

The new morning routine:

5:30 am Wake up and make breakfast to send with my husband

5:45 am Sit down with my own cup of coffee, breakfast, and morning quiet time

6:30 am Shower, get ready for the day

7:00 am Wake up Little Man for a few minutes of cuddle time

7:15 am Make breakfast and read Bible story

7:30 am Gather Little Man’s lunch

7:45 am Little Man gets dressed

7:55 am Leave for school

I’ve been amazed at the amount I’m able to get done in a short amount of time.  God has blessed the time and I’m grateful for a less hectic start to the day.

Tell me!  How do you start your day with your littles?

Candy Alternatives for your Little's Easter Basket

Are you on the hunt (yes, pun intended) for Easter basket fillers that

1. will it actually get used? and...
2. aren't chocolate bunnies?

Me too.

My kiddo will certainly get his fill of candy from other places this Easter season, so I want his basket to be filled with things he will enjoy playing with for a while, and won't find the trash can in 2.5 seconds.

This is the first year the Easter Bunny will visit our house.  We figured he didn't know or understand prior to this, but now, it can really be fun.  However, I feel like this Easter basket is all over the place.  There is no real theme to it except, "Little Man's favorite things"!  He's completely obsessed with planets, being outside, and dinosaurs.  Hopefully this fits the bill!

Here are 4 candy alternatives for your kiddo's Easter Basket

• Rain boots I'm excited for my little one to finally get his rain boots.  He loves stomping around in puddles, so I'll be glad to have these around to save his shoes!
• Bubble bath What kid doesn't love a surprise bubble bath?  I love the Honest Company bubble bath.  The sweet orange vanilla is my favorite scent.
• Target Dollar Spot Your local Target can yield great results for your candy alternatives.  I grabbed a few bow ties and dino garden planters that are too adorable.  There are a ton of great options for small egg fillers...stickers and erasers!
• Books  Like I said, our little guy is obsessed with planets.  The other day I heard him in the car, "I love you Saturn."  More books about our solar system is perfect for his Easter basket.  I found these two in the gift shop at the museum and promptly purchased them.
• Puzzles Our little guy is also really into puzzles lately.  I love these simple Melissa & Doug puzzles as an option for the Easter basket!

Tips for Traveling with Grandparents

Trips that include multiple generations of family are one of the hottest travel trends right now.  Over the holidays, we had the opportunity to travel for a big family trip which included my husband and I, our kiddo, and one set of grandparents.

Read more...

Post-partum Confessions: Diastasis Recti

Diastasis Recti is not something you're warned about before getting pregnant.  But really, there are things you can do before getting pregnant to strengthen your body.  There just aren't enough people talking about it!

Earlier this year, I shared how I discovered my diastasis and the 3 Things I had to Re-learn after my diastasis recti diagnosis.

In addition, I got to be a part of this news story with CBS 11 to help bring more awareness to women about DRA (diastasis rectus abdominus).  It was incredible to get to share my story and help women better understand the condition.

If you are looking for more information, Ashley, the physical therapist I worked with for the story, has a great blog and additional information.

The physical therapist I worked with after my DRA diagnosis has since set up a website where you can consult with her about any of your pelvic floor issues (it's all connected!).  Don't give up hope if you think you might have issues!  Also, follow her on Instagram, thevaginawhisperer...it's cheeky and informative, all at the same time.

Not only that, but if you are post-partum and not seeing a chiropractor, you should definitely get to one.  A chiropractor can make sure your body heals properly after carrying a baby for 9...or 10...months.  I shared how my very favorite chiro helped me post-partum and through my DRA diagnosis too!

I'm not 100% healed even three years after giving birth, but I'm much stronger and able to handle a lot more.

I can't stress how important it is to talk to your doctor or a women's physical therapist about these things if you are concerned you have an issue. 

These are some of the signs of Diastasis Recti: 

• bladder prolapse
• bowel pain
• sexual dysfunction
• back pain
• pelvic pain

I had no idea the difference a physical therapist would make for me after my diagnosis, but it was one of the best things I could have done.  Be encouraged and talk to your doctor!